Lauren Lamb

I have never been diagnosed by breast cancer, but I am here to tell the story of a little girl and her battle with her mom’s breast cancer. That was me. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was about 4 years old. I remember sitting on the basement stairs while she was working out. All of a sudden, she tells my aunt that she feels a lump in her breast. Oh boy, I had no idea what that even met. I remember the first time she stayed overnight at the hospital. I was screaming and crying and trying to hold on to chairs just so I didn’t have to leave my mom. To this day, I still drive pass the hospital where she spent so many nights and it still brings tears to my eyes. It wasn’t all bad news for the five years that she was fighting. She still coached my softball team. At the end of the year party, she told my team how much it meant for her to coach us because it took her mind of the cancer. That meant so much to me as a daughter who was trying to help my mom become healthy again. She still got mad at us for being bad kids. Once she was so mad at us, that she bent a tennis racket with her bare hands. You could say that we were scared out of our minds. My mom still made us afternoon snacks for when we got home from school and she still participated in almost every school event that she could. She was my hero. In the last few days that she was alive, I tried not to stay far away from her. My friend was having a birthday party for her late-dad who died of a heart attack a couple years early and I decided to go. Before I left, I was sitting on the couch next to my sleeping mom just holding her hand and taking in every second I had left with her. I walked over to my friend’s house and as I was walking a firetruck came to my house. My aunt and uncle were standing outside and telling me that my mom wasn’t waking up, but she was still alive. I ran to my best friend who even had tears in her eyes. That was when I learned that my mom’s time was almost up. After that night she was moved back into our house, but had to sleep on a hospital bed with her oxygen hooked up on the first floor. I never saw her as dying, just as my mom who I wanted to live so badly. Then she died on February 7th, 2008. I didn’t go to school for three days and just seeing my friends crushed me. To be honest, I acted really calm and held my feelings on the inside. I still do that. Seeing my mom die before my eyes didn’t really crush my spirit. I still try to succeed in school and be the best person ever. I just want to make my mom proud and do things that she wanted but never could because of her cancer. I want to be able to laugh in times of sadness like she was able to. I want to be able to face everything with a strong head and a light heart. I want to be able to make friends with every person I accidentally run into at the store. I want to use my heartbreak and make myself a better person.